


Fall Apart

by dmumts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 00:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17908316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dmumts/pseuds/dmumts
Summary: 'The end' didn't always mean it was over. Especially when the love you had for each other ran so much deeper.





	Fall Apart

The world felt still, glaringly silent while he lied in bed. The emptiness sat on his chest, the lump forming in his throat as the memories of you ran through his head like a marathon.

It had been more than a year since the breakup. His loneliness wasn’t unfamiliar to him, unfortunately. He’d felt it for a few months after you left, but he had slowly eased back into the motions of life without you. He no longer woke up expecting to kiss your forehead as you slept peacefully. He no longer stayed up to listen as you spoke in your sleep, just to laugh at the ridiculous things you said. There was no one around him passionate about the stars anymore, no one talking about constellations with the wonder you had in your eyes and you stared up at the sky.

But this was different. It felt like a different brand of loneliness; he had friends, and he talked to them every day, yet his dreams told a different story. You were there, holding hands, head resting on his shoulder as you spoke about anything that came to mind. He’d always loved that; how you managed to make him cling to your every word with topics he’d otherwise find uninteresting.

Who would’ve thought that Jongdae convincing him to give you his number would spiral into this.

_You were stressed, barely put together after spending nearly six consecutive hours on your feet. To you, you were a frazzled mess, but as you jotted down Junmyeon’s order, hair slightly falling in your face, he couldn’t help but feel his cheeks burning as he stared at you._

_As Jongdae ordered, he kept trying to think of the right line to say, something that will at least have you remembering him for the rest of the night. He finally took a deep breath, and before you could turn to walk off, he told you what he thought was the perfect joke. “You must be tired with the way you’ve been running through my mind,” he said with a smile._

_Your expression softened, and you gave him a giggle. “Well, I think I can do a few more laps, sir,” you joked, tucking your hair behind your ear. Your smile grew wider the longer you stared at him, which to both of you felt like hours. His heart raced when your tongue slowly glided across your bottom lip, and he wondered if you did on purpose, if maybe your heart did backflips at the sight of him like his did with you._

_“You don’t have to call me sir; my name is Junmyeon.”_

_“And my name is Jongdae,” he chimed in, a knowing smile on his face. He looked at you, then back at him, and winked. “Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a model?”_

_That was Jongdae’s bait, and he had completely fallen for it. He kicked him from under the table, then tilted his head, glaring at him while Jongdae could only internally laugh._

_“Well, um... no, but thank you,” you said, looking flustered as you turned your attention back to Junmyeon. “I’ll go place your order now.”_

_As soon as you were out of earshot, Junmyeon sighed, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. “Alright, you got me. I might be interested in her.”_

_“‘Might’ is an understatement,” he laughed. “Are you planning on asking for her number?”_

_Junmyeon shook his head quickly, his lips falling into a frown, thinking over the possibility of them being together. He could picture it, but he wasn’t sure if you could, and if you were just being nice out of courtesy. “I mean, I’d like to, but...I don’t want it to come off wrong.”_

_“Your running joke was awful, and she laughed at it anyway. Then, she stared at you for nearly a whole minute. Even when I pretended to flirt with her, she was still focused on you.” He got serious, leaning close to Junmyeon as he spoke. “I’m telling you; you’ll regret it if you don’t pursue this.”_

_And so he did. He scribbled his number on a piece of paper, giving you the choice to text him._

_He’d anxiously spent the rest of the night waiting for your message since he got home. He paced around the room, wondering if you’d gotten home safe, if you weren’t interested in him, and if it was his joke that had made you not interested._

_Finally, he heard his phone, and he jumped up to see what you had sent._

**_You [ 00:34]:_ **

**_Hey, Junmyeon. I hope it’s not too late_ ** _._

_He smiled up at his phone, excitedly tapping out a response. He’d never felt this strongly about someone he barely knew, but he trusted his gut; something told him that you were going to be incredibly special to him._

_Somewhere along the line, you had ended up talking to him on the phone. He couldn’t possibly tell when; the hours had begun to blend into each other. Time didn’t matter anymore, as long as he was talking to you. No matter how many times his eyelids had become heavy, the sound of your voice would immediately perk him up. Listening to you, getting to know you; it all made his heart flip with excitement._

_It was nearly three in the morning, and he had finally gotten enough courage to ask you on a date. On Saturday, for a nice dinner is what they agreed on, and he couldn’t wait for it._

He’d decided to clean up the place, to hopefully clear his mind. That’s what he did when he needed to relax; clean the house from top to bottom.

It had been so long that he had forgotten that he hid a box in his room with all the stuff you had left. He used to go through it every day, hoping that maybe it would be enough to fool himself into thinking that you were still there. Your scent had surprisingly faintly lingered on some of your stuff, so he placed his head in the box, closing his eyes as his lips curled into a smile.

He’d always loved the way you smelled. It had always made him feel safe, even when he was angry at you.

When he finally opened his eyes, he notices a black dress tucked in the corner, and he recognized it immediately. He’d never forget it, even in a million years.

_It was pouring out, and you had gotten caught in it. You jogged to the nearest shelter you could find, but you were already out enough to get soaked._

_At that point, you and Junmyeon had already been on a few dates, but you trusted him enough to call and ask if he had time to pick you up and take you back home._

_“Wow...” he said, water dripping from your hair as you quickly slipped into his car. His astonishment was a mix between how soaked you had gotten, and also how you had remained stunning even in your drenched state._

_“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I tried to dry myself off as best as I could, but I ended up getting wet when I jogged over here,” you sighed, folding your arms across your chest._

_“Don’t worry about that. I’m more concerned about you catching a cold,” he said, turning up the heat in the car. “Maybe you should come to my house and spend the night. You know, since it’s closer.” He laughed, making it clear that he was only joking. Although, he did like the idea of you spending the night; he just wasn’t sure if you were ready. You’d already kissed, but there was no established relationship yet._

_“Actually, I’d like that,” you said with a smile. “I’m curious. I mean, you look clean all the time, and you smell amazing, but your house could be the complete opposite.”_

_He didn’t confirm or deny it; he just wanted you to see for yourself._

_And you were shocked. Not that it was clean, but that it was practically spotless. He noticed you giving him a look, one that he’d interpret as embarrassment. And as he walked in, you remained by the door, afraid of stepping down and messing up anything._

_“C’mon; you need to get out of those clothes before you catch a cold,” he said, motioning for you to follow him. “You can take a hot shower, and then I’ll give you some clothes to wear. I don’t care if you make a mess right now.”_

_You slowly walk over to him, your bottom lip trembling as you hugged yourself, but all he could think of was making a good impression. He’d been so used to sleeping alone that he was worried about possibly kicking you off of the bed, or maybe saying something embarrassing in his sleep._

_When you emerged from the shower dressed in his overly baggy clothes, you both couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous you had looked. But although he laughed, he looked in awe at how comfortable you looked; a side of you he had never seen. Messy hair, no makeup, and comfy clothes, and you were still beautiful in his eyes._

_You slid into bed with him, and he didn’t hesitate to pull you closer to him before he threw the sheets over both of you. You lied there silently for a moment, but it was clear neither of you had any intentions of sleeping. His lips start off on the back of your neck, softly pressing into the skin, grinning when he hears you gasp._

_“Do you want to...” he whispered in your ear, fingers slowly trailing along your arm._

_And without another word, you turn around, placing your hand on the back of his head and pulled him in, your kiss is far from chaste like all your other ones. His body tingled all over, and he could barely contain himself, hands travelling all over your body as he pressed himself closer to you._

_By the end of it, you were both grinning ear to ear, panting while he placed small kisses on your face. “Well...” you said, barely holding in your giggle._

_“Rate me,” he breathed out, “out of ten.”_

_You hummed for a bit, looking up at the roof before answering. “Eleven.”_

_“You’re lying, but I’ll take it,” he laughed, pressing a final kiss on your forehead._

_You were both slowly drifting off to sleep, your head on his chest as he breathed gently. His hand slowly patted your head, and you snuggled closer to him, the smile on your face seemingly permanent. “Does this mean we’re official now?” you asked, your voice cutting through the silence._

_He laughed and nodded. “You were supposed to ask this before sex. But, I’d be more than proud to call you my girlfriend.”_

He lied on the bed, dress in his hand as his lips curl into a small smile. Thinking about it almost made it come back to life again. He could remember every detail vividly, down to the small noises in the background, down to the exact moments you let out tiny squeaks in your sleep. That night was the night he had realized his feelings ran much deeper for you, and he was determined to make it last.

He would have never imagined the turmoil you’d go through near the end of the relationship. Fights went from once in a blue moon, not lasting more than a few minutes, to everyday and lasting until the next morning when one of you decided to suck it up and apologize despite how you truly felt.

He sighed, the memory of one of your many arguments popping up in his head.

_“I hate how you don’t respect my privacy,” he said, pulling his phone out of your hand. “Like clockwork, you look through my phone whenever you think I’m not looking.”_

_You sighed, shaking your head. “You used to just hand me your phone. Now this is suddenly not respecting your privacy?”_

_“Yes, considering you have to go behind my back to do it,” he said, his voice getting a bit louder. “Plus, I gave you my phone all the time so there’d never be any room for doubt, yet you still get paranoid any time a girl talks to me.”_

_“Do you really think snatching your phone out of my hand helps anything?” you asked, your voice wobbly as you spoke._

_“You need to learn how to trust me,” he mumbled. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is?”_

_“I trust you,” you sighed, looking down at you your feet. “It’s just...” Your voice had gotten caught in your throat, and your eyes became glassy. His annoyance turned to concern, so he stepped closer to you, ready to comfort you when your tears started falling. “Sh-She’s so much better than me,” you finally said, a single tear sliding down your cheek._

_“Babe...” His brows furrowed as he looked at you, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. “Come here, babe.” He didn’t wait for you to move. Instead, he pulled you into his arms, your head on his chest as he whispered how sorry he was. “I love you, and only you. No one else can catch my eye; I promise.”_

_“I love you too, and I’m sorry.”_

His eyes had been glued to the wall, fighting to keep his tears in. That was just one of many, and looking back at it, that was tame compared to what he had experienced later down. Nothing had quite hurt his heart like their final argument, the one the led to you leaving him. Less words were said, but silence was deafening for sure. And he’d let you search his phone, complain, let you do anything if it meant he could have avoided this and have you in his arms at least a little longer.

_He knew you had been itching to talk to him about something for a while. You were pacing back and forth, opening your mouth to speak, but shutting it soon after to pace again. It went on for a few minutes before you sat down in front of him, eyes brimming with tears._

_You took a deep breath, finally mustering up enough courage to speak to him. “I don’t...know how to say this any better, but somewhere along the line, you stopped acting like you cared,” you barely managed to say._

_He groaned, running his fingers through his hair before shaking his head. He was annoyed; not because of your sadness in general, but because he had this conversation many times before, and he tried each time to assure you that he cared about you. “Don’t start,” he mumbled._

_You immediately perked up, brows furrowing as your breathing became heavier, as if you were fighting to catch your breath after what he had just said. “I’m telling you how I feel, a-and all you can focus on is your fucking self?”_

_“I’m just...tired of having to reassure you constantly. It doesn’t work, obviously.” He doesn’t pay any mind to the anger in your voice; he just wanted the conversation to end as fast as possible._

_“Fine,” you huffed, rising from your seat. “You won’t have to anymore.”_

_But he knew it’d come up again, or so he thought. You’d been in the bedroom for nearly an hour, so he got up to check on you, to make sure he hadn’t hurt you too much. And when he saw what you were doing, he could have sworn his heart stopped with the way his body froze._

_You were packing bags, drawers open as you tried to fit as much stuff as you could into one suitcase. He stepped further in, hoping that it wasn’t what it seemed, hoping that you were at least trying to leave for a few days and not forever._

_He picked up a picture from the dressing table and stared at you. It was a polaroid he had taken spontaneously, you sleeping on his shoulder while he looked down at you with love and adoration. Sometimes, he’d remember that random night, and despite what you were going through, he’d throw it aside, not caring what petty issue he had, because he truly loved you and never wanted to do anything to hurt you._

_“Where are you going?” he finally asked, voice quiet as his eyes turned glassy. “Baby...where are you going?”_

_“Out of your life,” you replied bitterly. He knew you had been crying, but your tears had long tried up, and he knew then that he had pushed you too far._

_“Babe, I’m sorry, I’ll—” His voice left him, turning into a squeak as a single tear slid down his face. He crouched down in front of you and reached for your hand, but you quickly jerked it away and shook your head. “Baby...”_

_“Stop calling me baby,” you mumbled, finally zipping up your last bag. You stood up, and he remained on the ground, his heart pounding when he finally realized that he couldn’t stop you. “If I leave anything, which I doubt I did, you can throw it out or donate it; just don’t try to contact me again.”_

_And then you left, and the house had never felt emptier._

His random memories of you had become too persistent for him to just let it slide like all the other times. He truly felt like it was some sort of message, something to nudge him towards you again, just like Jongdae had been the one to give him the boost he needed all those years ago.

So, he was standing outside of what he hoped was your house. He hadn’t spoken to you since a few months after the break up, when he found an expensive bracelet and decided to ask if you wanted it back. And even though your instructions were clear, you had still taken it back, and that was how he’d found out your new address.

He grew increasingly nervous the longer he stood out there. His palms became sweaty, despite the fact that he had been hugging his jacket tightly around him just a while ago. Then, just as he was about to cut his losses, you opened the door.

You weren’t angry in the slightest when you saw his face. You’d been thinking about him for a while as well, but seeing him had stirred up some bitter feelings, ones that you hadn’t felt while reminiscing. Regardless, you smiled at him, but still felt your eyes welling up with tears. “It’s been...some time now,” you said quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“Well...” he sighed, shoving his hands inside his pockets. “I’ve just been missing you a lot lately, honestly,” he said with a shrug.

“Interesting.” You didn’t want to let him know that you missed him too, at least not yet. You wanted to let the situation play out a bit more before you did.

He swallowed, not knowing exactly what to say anymore. He was just so overwhelmed seeing you again, and he hoped to at least hug you again if nothing else. He hummed a bit, stalling to figure out what to say, before finally deciding. “On our first date, you told me you could never stay mad at me because of how I looked when I smiled.” He smiled brightly, and it didn’t feel fake in the slightest; he was genuinely happy to see you. But when you shook your head, he sighed, his tongue running over his bottom lip. “I promise I’d do anything to make it up to you. I’d love to have you in my arms again and show you the love that you deserved back then.”

You looked down at your feet, then back up to him, folding your arms across your chest. You prepared yourself to speak, but he beat you to it.

“Our relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, but... It has to mean something,” he sighed, brows furrowed as he stepped a bit closer to you. “We’ve been broken up for so long, and I’ve been on so many dates, but it still isn’t enough to make me not love you anymore. It’s not enough to make me not feel emptiness whenever I focus on the fact that you’re not there anymore.”

“I’m not mad at you anymore,” you said, swallowing hard as you looked at him. “I haven’t been mad at you for a long time.”

He paused, eyes wide as he looked straight at you. “You’re not?” he asked quietly.

You slowly nodded, pursing your lips as you leaned against the doorframe. “I’ve had a lot of time to forgive you. Plus, I can’t give you all the blame. Sure, you were a jerk, and you could’ve just listened to me, but I understand that I complained a lot, and I was too insecure.”

“The only reason those things happened is because I gave up, and I was wrong for doing that,” he sighed, reaching to hold your hand. “I honestly don’t care if you complain. I just...I love you so much.”

“Junmyeon...”

“Wait, I have this for you,” he said, pulling a note and a necklace out of his pocket. He stood there anxiously, watching as you read the note, your face expressionless.

_You were the only one who could bury yourself deep in my heart._

“God, this is so cheesy,” you said, unable to hold your smile in as you held the necklace to your chest. “But, I love it. Thank you.” You gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment, just like the day you had first met him. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swelling, your face burning as you looked at him. And as much as you hated to admit it, you still loved him, just as much as you did before. You took a deep breath and pulled him closer to you, your lips pressing into his softly as you ran your fingers through his hair.

The kiss had lasted for what felt like forever, only being broken when Junmyeon began laughing. “Does this mean we’re back together? Can I call you baby again?” he asked, thumb brushing softly against your cheek as he gazed into your eyes.

“You were supposed to ask this before we kissed,” you said with a laugh, mirroring the words he’d told you a long time before. “But, yes. And I love you.”


End file.
